MAN ACCUSED OF RUBBING PRODUCE ON HIS ASS AT GROCERY STORE

MANASSAS, VA

Has your fruit been smelling or tasting like butt lately? If so, it could be because 27-year old, Michael Dwayne Johnson was in the produce section at your grocery store before you.

USA TODAY (@USAToday) reports, police were called to a Giant grocery store in Virginia after multiple shoppers reported seeing a man picking fruit off the shelf, rubbing it on his ass, then putting the fruit back on the shelf. The worst part is that Johnson reportedly pulled his pants down before he rubbed the fruit on his bare ass.

What I’ve learned in my travels through life is that people rarely get caught the first time they do something. If that theory applies here…and you live in Virginia….and you eat fruit…there’s probably a good chance that you’ve tasted ass before. Or at least, Michael Dwayne Johnson’s ass.

Johnson was charged with destruction of property and indecent exposure. The Giant store said they had to destroy several pallets of produce out of fear of contamination.

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