$18 MILLION WORTH OF COCAINE FOUND IN BOXES OF BANANAS THAT WERE TO BE DONATED

FREEPORT, TX

Two sergeants from Texas’ Department Of Criminal Justice found more than they bargained for when they went to pick up 45 boxes of bananas that were being donated to the department. As the sergeants began picking up the boxes, they quickly noticed that something wasn’t quite right. People Magazine (@people) reported, there was nearly $18 million worth of cocaine packaged in with the fruit.

“Sometime life gives you lemons. Sometimes it gives you bananas.” The department joked on their official Facebook page after the discovery.

The cocaine was hidden beneath the bundles of bananas. The sergeants contacted U.S. customs, who ran a test on the white substance and confirmed that it was cocaine. 540 packages were discovered with an estimated street value of just under $18 million. It’s not clear who sent the cocaine or who was supposed to pick it up. One thing is clear though…..somebody f*cked up! Big time!

Advertisements

MAN ACCUSED OF RUBBING PRODUCE ON HIS ASS AT GROCERY STORE

MANASSAS, VA

Has your fruit been smelling or tasting like butt lately? If so, it could be because 27-year old, Michael Dwayne Johnson was in the produce section at your grocery store before you.

USA TODAY (@USAToday) reports, police were called to a Giant grocery store in Virginia after multiple shoppers reported seeing a man picking fruit off the shelf, rubbing it on his ass, then putting the fruit back on the shelf. The worst part is that Johnson reportedly pulled his pants down before he rubbed the fruit on his bare ass.

What I’ve learned in my travels through life is that people rarely get caught the first time they do something. If that theory applies here…and you live in Virginia….and you eat fruit…there’s probably a good chance that you’ve tasted ass before. Or at least, Michael Dwayne Johnson’s ass.

Johnson was charged with destruction of property and indecent exposure. The Giant store said they had to destroy several pallets of produce out of fear of contamination.

U.S. BORDER PATROL AGENT SUSPECTED IN KILLING OF FOUR AND KIDNAPPING OF ANOTHER

WEBB COUNTY, TEXAS

35-year old Border Patrol Agent, David Ortiz was taken into custody by the Webb County PD on Saturday. Ortiz is a suspect in the killing of four people and the aggravated kidnapping of a fifth person, a woman who managed to escape her captor.

CNN (@cnn) reported, the bodies of the four deceased (one male and three females), had been discovered over the course of the past two weeks, according to sheriff’s spokesperson, Eduardo Chapa.

“This case broke open yesterday with an aggravated kidnapping and then a lookout for the suspect, in this case, Ortiz.” Webb County district attorney, Isidro R. “Chilo” Alaniz said.

Chapa said Ortiz was picked up along Interstate 35 in Laredo early on Saturday morning. The female that was kidnapped managed to escape. According to authorities, she had a gun pulled on her during the abduction, but managed to get away from Ortiz. The woman immediately went to authorities. She provided them with a description of the suspect and the white pick-up truck that led police to Ortiz.

“We have very strong evidence that he is the person who has been killing.” The sheriff said at a press conference Saturday afternoon.

APPLE REMOVES ALEX JONES “INFO WARS” FROM APP STORE

Apple removed Alex Jones’ Info Wars app from their app store on Friday. That move alone would be a major loss for anyone considering the amount of Apple users. But for Jones and his Info Wars program, the Apple ban is another set of cement shoes that are surely about to ensure that Jones and his brand get buried at the bottom of the ocean right alongside other unwanted trash.

Jones’ Info Wars built up a huge loyal viewership that garnered a large following on practically every social network and streaming site. As far as I can tell, Info Wars is mainly a wild conspiracy theory vehicle with Jones himself at the wheel. The rise of a person like Donald Trump to the presidency of the United States probably played very well into the Info Wars agenda. Jones took advantage of this and grew his brand. The crazier the conspiracy theory (and the host), the more attention Jones and Info Wars garnered. This was likely good news for Jones and the sites that hosted his shows and allowed Jones to interact with his fans.

The problem with conspiracy theories are that at some point, conspiracy theories can become a danger to the public. No example bigger than the “pizzagate” conspiracy. The story behind this was that Hilary Clinton was kidnapping kids and holding them hostage in the basement of a pizza shop. (I wish I could tell you that this was a joke, but it’s not) The danger with crazy conspiracy theories is that some people believe them wholeheartedly. Which was what happened here. After hearing Jones’ pizzagate rants, a disgruntled Jones listener decided it was his civic duty to take action. A man went to the pizza shop armed with weapons and demanded that the kids being held hostage by Hilary Clinton in the basement be freed. Fortunately, no one was hurt in that incident. The fanatic Info Wars listener was arrested without incident. Oh, by the way…..the pizza shop didn’t have any kidnapped kids inside…..or a basement at all.

In my personal opinion, that alone was enough of an incident to have social media and other platforms drop the hammer on Info Wars, but they didn’t. The conspiracy theories continued. Jones had temporary bans from sites here and there, but those bans were never enough to really slow down or hurt the Info Wars brand or Alex Jones’ pockets. Recently things changed though. Facebook hit Jones with a permanent band, that was shortly followed by Youtube and most recently Twitter. If you can’t promote your products on those sites, you’re pretty much over and done with. The Apple move is another nail in the Info Wars coffin.

The New York Times (@NYTimes) spoke to an Apple spokesperson who said Info Wars was removed under company policy that prohibits apps on its site from including content that is “offensive, insensitive, upsetting, intended to disgust, or in exceptionally poor taste.” The spokesperson declined to say if any specific content in the app led to Info Wars removal.